Mark: I hope a spider bites me so that I can turn into Spiderman!
Friend of my Mom's: you have to watch out with that sugar free stuff - it has acetaminophen in it!
Mom: that is Tylenol
Friend: Oh.. you know what I mean! (aspartame)
Mark: Dad I want the pizza cutter
Me: No Mark that is dangerous please sit in your seat.
Mark (smacking head): uggh.. Dad.. you don't.. it doesn't have the sharp, it isn't even the sharp... Dad you don't under.. Daddy you didn't understanded me! I just wanted the piece of pizza.